I AM PROUDLY ZIMBABWEAN or not?

You know its sad. Its really sad. The fact that I know so many Zimbabweans here in South Africa that are ashamed to be classified as Zimbabweans, being who they are, duh. I have come to a conclusion, that there are 3 types of Zimbos, around me that is. And the first type is the

• Proudly Zimbabwean
  

This Zimbabwean makes sure that the people around him/her know where they come from. They don't really care about stupid comments about how funny their accent is. This Zimbabwean most of the time holds a diploma in teaching but doesn't mind working as a landscape tech a.k.a. garden boy or assistant home improver a.k.a. sisi vebasa. This Zimbabwean has most of the time one thing in common with the other following two that I will mention and that is the fact that most, if not all, Zimbabweans are hard working. I am hearing 'amens' as i finished the above statement.

and the 2nd one is

• Maybe Zimbabwean
  

Now this one, eish, this one. This one is the kind that checks out to see if its necessary to blurp out that "I am Zimbabwean". When asked, so where are you from, this kind responds by saying something in the lines of "Why do you wanna know?" or "I'm from around" or "I wont tell you coz you will judge me". This kind is some what afraid of being criticized coz of their nationality. I have seen it happen a lot. This one is a sceptic one. You have to be very close to their heart to know that they are Zimbabwean.

Last but not least is

• Me? Zimbabwean?
  

LMAO!! This one kills me coz i have lots of cousins and friends that are exactly like this, lol. The thought of it just makes me LOL! Ok ok ok, breeeeath....hahaha....wooooosa....hehehe. Ok already...LOL. Eish veduwe. This one DENIES being a Zimbabwean! They want nothing whatsoever to do with Zimbabweans. This kind of Zimbabwean has the birth and ID to prove that they are not Zimbabwean. They can speak one or more of the South African languages hence giving them ground to stand on and actually have the "intestines" to say "nah, I am Zulu" that's BULL POOP!!! This kind of Zimbabwean wants only to hang around SA's coz then as they say "birds of the same feather flock together". I know of people that walk around acting as if havatauri! I have a cousin that lied to his now ex girlfriend, whom he dated for 2 years, that he was from Morocco. He said to her his name was 'Nalla', and that his mom was SAfrican but his dad was the one from Morocco. Now here is the sad thing my dears, I had to play along! I had to act like I was also from Morocco and my name was...ummm....whats it....damnit I am forgetting. I think my name was 'Lalla' or something around those lines and for a long freaking 2 years I had to be a Moroccan around her coz he was to scared that she would dump his sorry unworthy Zimbabwean ass! But this girl was also a bit outah it. I mean we would speak Shona around her and he would just lie to her that its a Moroccan language and she bought it! He even had a name for it, LMEHBAO (if you are wondering it means 'lafin-my-extremely-huge-black-ass-off)! hahahahaha.

At the end of the day, this is sad sad sad! I can honestly say Zimbabweans are very hard working. I think its the circumstances in which we come from or the way we were raised, I don't know.

As u read this post I want you to categorise yourself and see which one you are. And if there is any other type that I didn't mention please let your girl know.

Till I drop another

xxxNgano iyi ndeyangu

The cute cannibal (Part 2)

He was 'my' catch. And that's the way it was gonna be.

The very next day well we spoke. He liked me and unlike all the other girls in my day that would say "ndichafunga", I jumped the gun and said lets do this. I was ready to have a hot guy to roll with for a month or few. None of my teenage relationships really lasted longer than 2 months really, hence the long list of guys that i dated coz I used to jump from this one then the next. Before you judge me, I had never been sexually active that's why most guys would dump me after 1 or 2 months of trying to get it on with me. I wasn't an easy one :)

Scott was a real charm. For all I knew, most of the girls that used to come to the library thought he was really hot. He had naturally curly hair, he had this cute smirk whenever he spoke, he used to dress nice, real nice. He was really light (its a shame that most of us were raised to think that only light people are beautiful, what a abominable lie! makes me sick to the gut!!) and hey when you describe him to people its like you would say "anoita kunge mukaradhi!". Everyone knows kuti coloureds are beautiful right? ...well weather you answer this to yourself or not, you must admit that these are the perceptions we sort of grew up with!

In my day if you heard that someone was dating a white person the whole rokesheni will be knowin. I remember when my cuz once said he was dating a white chic. He was here in SA at that time and we were all still in Zim. I am telling you he was the talk of the hood. Whenever I passed through a fellow neighbours house all you would hear is "hanzvadzi yako yemurungu iya irikuuya rinhi naye timuone?" It was the in thing. I think there are certain areas it still is. Anyway what happens with my brother is that they plan to come and as you might understand, the whole hood is waiting in anticipation. Ok fine, they arrive.... what the hell she is black? Ain't she suppose to be white? didn't he say he was rolling with a white sister?? Yah but apparently he meant it as a figure of speech coz she was light skinned and his mother some how took it out of context! lol! Still kills me to this day, lol, the looks and the whispers from the neighbours! hahaha, priceless I tell you!

Scott was my 'white' black guy. He was cute...

But little did I know...behind all that innocence was a monster waiting to be unleashed at any given time.

Till I drop another

xxxNgano iyi ndeyangu